This week was, to say the least, an odd week for me, as I experienced a juxtaposition of sorts between a particular book I was reading, Mortality by Christopher Hitchens, and something I witnessed.
Hitchens' book contains his thoughts and writings about his experience and philosophy after he as diagnosed with esophageal cancer and faced the imminent prospect of his own mortality. Hitchens' writing is poignantly honest, in such a way to almost make you palpably feel the fear of being diagnosed with cancer; the fear of undergoing radiation treatments; the fear of losing your sense of self and identity; the fear of dying, not as an instant, but as a long, painful, and inevitable journey. The book's brutal honesty makes it an incredible read, and Hitchens writing is powerful and clear. All of which confirms the conclusions of not only how awful cancer is, but how awful treatment for it can be, and how awful cancer can make one's final journey from this world.
It may even lead one to think of how they don't want to die that way; how it would be better to have life end quickly, without the prolonged suffering of the dying process.
In actuality, the above sentiment is one I hear quite often in discussions with clients regarding their end-of-life wishes and health care advance directives. Many fear death, but more than that, they fear the act of dying, the suffering and pain involved; how a prolonged process forces them (us) to confront the inevitability of it, and seemingly take away their (our) dignity, and maybe even a bit of our humanity.
The juxtaposition I experienced this week was witnessing life being taken away without the drawn out process. In the small city where I work, there was a murder-suicide on Monday, which took place about a block to two blocks from my office. It occurred right after I had pulled into our office parking lot; I heard the shots that later turned out to be the murder, and then witnesses (from about 75 feet or so), the suicide part of the incident. Two lives gone in a matter of seconds.
Its an interesting, almost surreal experience to witness, even at a distant, the premature ending of human life. And for me, witnessing this at the same time I was reading Hitchens' book...well, it makes you think not only about death and dying, but life and meaning; and, for lack of better phrasing, since we all have to die, what's the "better" way?
But as I work my way through my thoughts this week, I begin to think that such a question is misplaced. The better way isn't one way of dying versus another; its about one way of living versus another. The cancer victim and the murder victim had no control over the cause of their death and ultimately, they shouldn't be defined by that which they have no control over. The individual committing suicide had control over his own death, but is now defined solely by that act (and the murder). What's the "better" way?
Do you want to be defined by how you died, or by how you lived?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne, "The Shawshank Redemption"
Its an interesting, almost surreal experience to witness, even at a distant, the premature ending of human life. And for me, witnessing this at the same time I was reading Hitchens' book...well, it makes you think not only about death and dying, but life and meaning; and, for lack of better phrasing, since we all have to die, what's the "better" way?
But as I work my way through my thoughts this week, I begin to think that such a question is misplaced. The better way isn't one way of dying versus another; its about one way of living versus another. The cancer victim and the murder victim had no control over the cause of their death and ultimately, they shouldn't be defined by that which they have no control over. The individual committing suicide had control over his own death, but is now defined solely by that act (and the murder). What's the "better" way?
Do you want to be defined by how you died, or by how you lived?
"Get busy living, or get busy dying." - Andy Dufresne, "The Shawshank Redemption"
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