Music and Meaning

I have probably mentioned at some point, via this blog or twitter or whatever, but I love listening to music.  Have it on when I'm at my office working.  Have it on in my home office when working (or typing a blog post).  Have something playing through headphones when I'm mowing the yard, or clearing snow from the driveway.  Something's usually playing while I read, or am cooking, or doing miscellaneous chores.  Prefer to have music playing as opposed to watching TV shows.  And I can listen to pretty much anything, depending on my mood, from Rap/Hard Rock to Country, Soul to Pop, Oldies to Alternative.

Even though I have incorporated music into so much of my daily routines, it never really struck me until last year when we were going through the adoption process.  During one of the exercises we had to complete for our profile, we had to write what we liked about our partner.  Jackie wrote about how she loved that I made music a part of everything I did, and could see me doing that with our child.

And that has happened.  Fortunately, Maia seems to love listening to music, and hearing her Dad sing songs badly.  Whether it be listening to Classic Rock in the kitchen while cooking or more soft soothing tunes while trying to sleep, she always seems engaged by it, and responds accordingly (the upbeat stuff making her happy, the slow stuff helping her relax and sleep).  I thought about all this just a minute ago, when trying to get Maia to settle down to take a quick nap that she desperately needed, and she eventually nodded off during a stellar duet of "Let it Be" from her Dad and the Beatles.

And in that moment, I think I recall at what point I went from just enjoying music, to the point where listening to it becomes an integral part of my day.  It involves "Let it Be" by the Beatles, and my junior year in college.  That year I took a class in Metaphysics, where during the year we worked towards, among other things, addressing the meaning of life (in fact, our final essay for the class was to answer the question, "What is the Meaning of Life.").  As part of that process, one of our assignments during the year was to select a song that we felt addressed an/the issues of the meaning of life.

The song I selected was probably kind of faddish at the time - "Suicide" by Bobby Gaylor.  It was a speech song in the same vein as the infamous Sunscreen song that came out at around the same time.  But I picked it, thinking at the time (I think) that it spoke to the issues of freedom of choice to life and death issues, and that choice determined meaning (or something similarly sophomoric I'm sure).  Such semantical difficulties seemed prevalent in my thought at the time (probably still are), as my final paper that year concluded that you couldn't ask what the meaning of life was until you determined there was meaning; but while I found that there was meaning to life, I found that an individual determined his/her own meaning, and the whole meaning couldn't ever be known (conclusive and comforting, I know).

Our professor also participated in the exercise and shared two songs, both by the Beatles.  The first, "Eleanor Rigby."  The second, "Let it Be."  The shortened version of his explanation for the songs - people are looking for genuine relationships in order to avoid loneliness; sometimes, peace comes from letting go.

"Let it Be" has stuck with through the years, right up to today when singing it to Maia to try and get her to fall asleep.  Music, not just that song, helps me let things be.  Music helps me let go; to relax and enjoy little moments without over analyzing it; to lose the self-consciousness that holds you back; to take that deep breath and enjoy the release of the exhale.

Listening to music lets me, let it be.  In the process, I find that I am able to better enjoy all those things that give genuine and authentic meaning to my life.