I recently finished the book Terms of Service: Social Media and the Price of Constant Connection by Jacob Silverman. As I hinted at in my Goodreads review, the book provides much fodder for reflection and discussion. The one that interests me the most, and was part of my desire to read it, it the relationship between the constant connection and ability to share everything/anything at anytime and from anywhere on one side, and developing authentic, impactful relationships.
I've had the opinion that social media can be a great tool for relationships - it can provide additional opportunities for discussion with friends and family, additional chances for sharing those moments in life you want to share with certain individuals, and even provides a chance for new relationships. In recent years, that opinion of mine has taken a hit; primarily, I think, because social media has lost its status as a tool or a means, but has become its own end.
The use of social media has invaded, or become a part, of so much of the every day things we do. We can share the mundane and the unusual from our day, with the only thing separated the two is the degree we do so in our mind; for social media purposes, there is no difference. Both can be shared; both can have data collected from it. As such, our experiences, somewhat unconsciously, become commoditized (after all, we are the ones providing the content from social media). We experience events, but there's the nagging of our smartphones, and the ability to instantly share the experience with others (via a photo to Instagram or a contemplative Facebook post or video) - is it the desire to share behind this nagging, or the sense of image we portray to others, and ourselves? We read news and opinion and share with others (another Facebook post, or a tweet with a witty hashtag) - again, do we do this out of the desire to share and initiate conversation, or to continue to convey a certain image of ourselves, as informed, well-read, smart, liberal, conservative, patriotic, etc.
What we experience, what we read, what we eat, what we do is no longer enough. There is this compulsive desire, built from the addictive qualities of how social media is developed and marketed, that seems to require us to do more. The old saying, "if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound," has converted, in our contemporary times, to "if we experience something (or eat, or read, or whatever), but its not sharable, did it really happen?" [The shorter version - "pics or it didn't happen."] Our experiences are no longer the ends; they have become a means to the new end of how and what to share on social media, in a continual attempt to build a digital image and life and brand for ourselves. This is one of the primary negatives I see from social media - the constant tug against being present, being mindful of the moment.
The second significant negative I see in social media has to do with out relationships and our communities. Social media could have been something that enhanced our relationships. We could "better" keep in contact with loved ones and old friends from high school/college/grad school who live far away. And that perhaps can still be true in many ways; but I wonder how often we use the social media contact as a replacement or substitute instead of a supplement? How often do those relationships, once deemed so important, become only social media relationships? And, knowing that we often don't post everything of significance (self-censorship), we perhaps gain a false sense of connection with others, feeling like we know what is going in their lives or thoughts (because of their feeds), but actually knowing less and less authentically about them. [This says nothing of how easy it is to unfollow or simply ignore the feeds and information from people we disagree with on the big social, cultural or political views, where such could not so easily be done in face to face interactions].
And to top it off, with that ever present tug to refresh, to see more information, to get that little dopamine hit, we become more and more withdrawn from our communities. There is much research to indicate that involvement in service clubs and churches and local boards and commissions are down. Surely, there are many, many causes of this downward trend; and while these are not the be-all-end-all of community involvement, they are significant markers and their decreased participation rates in communities does, if nothing else, correlate with people being more attached to their digital self and digital communities than their physical communities. [Whether this is good or bad can be debated, I suppose, but it should at least be thought about and, well, debated, instead of simply accepted].
I've discussed (and probably written) many of these same critiques over the last couple years, as have many others. And I don't profess to make these critiques/observations from some ivory tower - I was on Facebook up to two years ago, still have a Twitter account (though I no longer have it on my phone), play games on my phone, blog (obviously), and actively use Goodreads to share what I'm reading. While it was easy for me to leave Facebook at the time, I really enjoy Twitter, as much of a black hole for time it can be, and I enjoy sharing on this blog, and discuss what I read via Goodreads.
But more and more frequently, the use of such mediums, particularly Twitter, gives me pause. It has become harder and harder to avoid some of the questions I discussed above - how am I using the medium, and how is it using me: what do the things I don't share say about what I want to share, and thus by extension, what image am I trying to convey (and not convey). And more and more, the answers to these questions are negative ones, with implications I have grown uncomfortable with.
Ultimate, despite the promises of a tech utopia of sorts, the constant connection of social media through smart phones feels like a distraction from life, and a road block to authenticity in relationships. I don't have a good sense, yet, on the way to avoid those pitfalls without some total retreat, which I think would be likely counter-productive and create its own share of problems. But I am sure the road likely will have a little less of that pervasive, constant, digital connection.
"Distracted from distraction by distraction." - T.S. Eliot
"You are what you share." - Charles W. Leadbeater
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