My first regular weekly post of the new year ...
1. It has been awhile since I wrote, in part because I tend to write on weekends and last weekend we actually visited family. We had been out of school for two weeks, closely adhered in limiting our contact with anyone so that we could feel comfortable seeing my parents for the first time since August (and, with the 6 hour visit, more than doubled the amount of time we saw them for all of 2020), and visiting Jackie's mom in Fort Wayne for the first time since August as well. The visits were good, emotional, and worth it. It was a struggle leaving both places, not knowing when another visit can happen safely. But so it goes, I'm just thankful that we had an opportunity where we could make these visits happen.
Otherwise, our individual lives have been mundane, while obviously our national life has been anything but. The insurrection that happened at the Capitol building on Wednesday, the images of the riots, the destruction of a monument of democracy, the reading after of how close things were to being much, much, much worse, is harrowing and depressing. Feeling that many responsible or complicit will simply move on and there will be no accountability, gives me a true sense of dread and palpable anxiety about the future. There is so much that I could write (and so much that I have said in conversations since Wednesday), but I guess what occurs to me now is this - we think of politicians as leaders, but so often they're really not; they don't lead, they react, to us. So, until that changes - either with certain politicians truly leading by being honest with people, or people change, I don't envision the political situation improving all that much. Obviously, I'd love to be wrong, but we have a lot of hard work ahead of us, and we generally seem opposed to engaging in that type of hard work lately.
2. On the health front, I last wrote that the wheel came off. I believe that the more apt description now is that the I fell of the wagon first, decided to stay in the mud awhile, the wagon continued 2 miles down the road and then lost its wheels. Suffice to say, the lack of having my normal routine over the last month severely hindered my momentum. Knowing that I continue to have those challenges ahead of me (this week alone I have two nights with evening meetings that will make those non-treadmill nights), reinforces a couple things to me.
First, the routine is important in terms of structure. Being successful in this journey, which will take several years, will require restructuring my daily life to limit my temptations and reduce the amount of friction that exists to me making good choices. Understanding that it is not entirely about will power is helpful in not helping beat myself up, but I still need to do better about making the structural choices I know will be helpful.
Second, as important as hitting the treadmill is 4 times or more each week, carefully counting my calories each day and avoiding certain trigger foods is more important. At my weight, if I limit my calories appropriately, I will lose weight without working out (for a good while in all likelihood). The exercise obviously will assist in accelerating weight loss, and has other health benefits, but the key is eating choices. I did an excellent job in late September and all of October. I have slowly regressed into bad habits culminating in the last couple weeks.
Time to get up, dust off, fix the wagon, and continue the journey.
3. On the reading front, I have challenged myself this year to 96 books. Having read 88 last year, the 96 both seems achievable yet daunting. But, as I've written before, the challenge is more about carving out time for an activity that calms my brain and centers me, as opposed to worrying about the actual number. This past week I finished books 1 and 2, enjoying Eiten Hersh's Politics is for Power and having finished The Mountains Sing by Nguyen Phan Que Mai (side note - my book reviews this year will be much shorter, typically just including three primary immediate thoughts I had after finishing the book).
This week, I'll be starting Matt Haig's Notes on a Nervous Planet, crack open David Dayen's Monopolized, and start Rion Amilcar Scott's short story collection, The World Doesn't Require You.
What are you reading?
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