Routines and Doing Nothing

 Another week ...

1. I feel like the past week, on almost every front, was where nothing changed. For the most part, everything was the same. Part of that is the routine of a normal work week, though such continues to weigh heavier as those weeks stretch into months due to the pandemic. I remember when Jackie and I were getting married, we were supposed to meet with the pastor (Pastor Phil) at the church hosting the ceremony (her family church) several times, four I believe. Those sessions covered a variety of topics related to marriage. I remember a few things from those sessions, but one that has recurred to me over the past several months was "routine." Pastor Phil had asked us to write three things we wished to avoid in the marriage - I wrote routine; I remember explaining that I worried that routine could easily lead to a complacency, a drudgery, which I wanted to avoid. 

My thinking then, and now, is that I wanted to avoid a routine that became so regular and repetitive; I wanted the "disruptions" of travel, trying new recipes and restaurants, making new memories. I will admit it is a fairly simplistic thinking of what routine is and what breaks it up, but I knew myself; I knew that I can easily fall into a routine and stop being mindful of the things in life that bring meaning and then, before I knew it, days/months/years pass and I am deeply unhappy. Been there done that, as they say, and I knew I needed to avoid it.

The pandemic has, as with so many things, brought challenges to this framework. Initially, the routine was shaken up a whole lot - more working from home, court hearings and meetings via video conferencing, online grocery shopping, etc. But, once those things "normalized," there was little opportunity to break up the new routine. The virus is still here, doing what viruses do, and thus all the efforts at trying to keep family and friends safe are of the upmost importance. So, each week almost always looks like the week before, and, in particularly, each weekend does. No visiting family and friends, no traveling to zoos and museums and sporting events.  The "routine" I sought to avoid in life is unavoidable now, and there are times when I struggle significantly to maintain that crucial mindfulness. I think that struggle has impacted all in our household, including Maia. She has always been a curious, active child, wanting to go and do any and all things. Now, her "menu" of options are narrow, and has been pretty the same for several months.

There have been several rough, challenging, and emotional moments for all of us in the past couple weeks. We're entering what I hope is the homestretch of dealing with this pandemic, where hopefully by mid-Summer vaccinations will reach necessary levels to allow for more normal, and varied, activities. In the meantime, our little household will need to work hard together to be mindful of what we are all dealing with, and helping each other slog on through.

2. As to my goals of getting healthy, this past week was much like the week before - I walked on the treadmill three times, but was inconsistent in making healthy food choices, mindful food choices. I imagine some of my struggles in making poor choices comes from a desire to break up routine - to try new take out, which is easier and has a whole lot less friction than trying new recipes. In any event, I'm still trying, and am hopeful that with some focused mindfulness this week I can have a good week ahead of me to right the course of this ship.

3. I finished books No. 6 and 7 for the year this week. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab was a real entertaining read with an interesting reflection on what brings meaning and value to living life. The Land of the Cranes by Aida Salazar was an incredible middle-grade fiction work, with the story of a family of undocumented immigrants in a detention center told through free verse; the story was emotional, chilling, and resonating. I'm still working my way through The Deficit Myth and just picked up The Topeka School a couple nights ago.

Last week I shared an article from The New Yorker, and there was another piece from the magazine I read this week that I found to be really well done. "Living with a Visionary" by John Matthias was a powerful personal testimony of the author caring for his wife as she had increasing hallucinations, and then the impact COVID of their lives. Working with families who have loved ones experiencing dementia, I found the story poignant, harrowing even, and sensitively done. Definitely worth a read.