I'm not usually one for "celebrating" my own birthdays, not because I have any issues with being a year older, but because I usually, at some point around the week of my birthday, reflect on things and end at a conclusion that I should have accomplished more by my "____th" birthday. The last couple years, with Jackie's help to lighten up a bit, I've learned to relax a bit more about things, but every now and again, I still get the reflection bug.
Birthdays to me serve better purposes for yearly reflection than New year's . . . other people tend to make New Year's resolutions, I attempt to make promises to myself each year to accomplish something before I turn a year older. Somewhat inevitable, because of the scope of these promises, the next year is always a bit of a downer because I have failed to maintain the promise. Birthdays are funny - sadness or disappointment at the past, hope and optimism for the future.
Yesterday I turned 28. It feels weird because it "sounds" like such an adult age, and yet it seems not that long ago and I was still in school (in part, because I've only been out of school for almost three years). But chiefly because it sounds so adult, grown up, mature, and sometimes I'm not sure I really view myself as that yet, even though I've done the "adult" things of getting married, buying a house, and establishing a career. Self image and perspective is very controlling at times though, and its still somewhat weird to view myself as an adult, for whatever sense that makes it.
Its also somewhat weird because of what year 27 meant. Going back, things have happened quickly and there always seemed to be somewhat of a bigger step or event each year. During year 21, Jackie and I got engaged. During year 22, was graduation from college. During year 23, I made law review at Valpo (which doesn't seem like a big deal to me know, but at the time, it certainly seemed important). During year 24, Jackie and I got married. During year 25, it was graduation from law school. During year 26, Jackie and I bought our first house together in little Middlebury, and I made partner at my law firm. During year 27 . . . . . . . . .
It just seems that nothing big or momentous, or whatever the word would be, happened in the last year for me. There was obviously big events . . . I became an Uncle as my Sister had her first child; Jackie and I dealt with the pain of losing her faithful Bichon Toby, who passed away in September after 14 years; Jackie and I got a new puppy this past January; I bought a newer car and finally moved on from the old trust Echo; but nothing that makes me look back and think, I will remember that I did this when I was 27, the way I look at those other events.
Ultimately, I think the way I view time will change, less on a year to year basis, which being so close to a school schedule kind of forces the view of time, to less structured, to an understanding that time will just kind of pass by seemingly quicker and quicker, because there are less things to mark it, less "big" events such as graduations, job promotions, marriage, houses, and the like. Looking ahead, obviously any job changes would be big (although I sincerely hope there isn't any, I like where I work), new house at some point would be big, and obviously any children that come along, but I think the years of having something defining happen every year are probably over, and now its time to start looking at the whole of the future with the aforementioned hope and optimism, instead of trying to control it by structuring it so much on a yearly basis. But again, I'm only 28, so I'm sure the views and thoughts I have now will evolve and morph over the future years.
As for the birthday itself, it was very nice. My parents, sister, brother in law, and nephew all came down to have lunch with Jackie and I at Olive Garden, one of my favorite restaurants, and then came back to our house for some ice cream cake. It was nice to be able to spend the time with everyone. And due to my family and Jackie's family incredible generosity (seriously, I cannot be convinced that I deserve to be so blessed with such incredible people as family in my life), I was able to get some new things I have been wanting for awhile, including a new golf bag, golf shoes, and even a mini-laptop that I can't wait to use to help in doing more work at home (which might be a later post).
Everything considered, its been a great time, and not to sound overly corny, while its nice to get the gifts of things from people that create little moments, what's always nicer is the time I get to spend with family, and the wonderful reminder of how loved and blessed and fortunate I am . . . I love that reminder, a reminder of what I have been given but didn't deserve, and what I should strive to give to others, even if they may not deserve it.
Birthdays to me serve better purposes for yearly reflection than New year's . . . other people tend to make New Year's resolutions, I attempt to make promises to myself each year to accomplish something before I turn a year older. Somewhat inevitable, because of the scope of these promises, the next year is always a bit of a downer because I have failed to maintain the promise. Birthdays are funny - sadness or disappointment at the past, hope and optimism for the future.
Yesterday I turned 28. It feels weird because it "sounds" like such an adult age, and yet it seems not that long ago and I was still in school (in part, because I've only been out of school for almost three years). But chiefly because it sounds so adult, grown up, mature, and sometimes I'm not sure I really view myself as that yet, even though I've done the "adult" things of getting married, buying a house, and establishing a career. Self image and perspective is very controlling at times though, and its still somewhat weird to view myself as an adult, for whatever sense that makes it.
Its also somewhat weird because of what year 27 meant. Going back, things have happened quickly and there always seemed to be somewhat of a bigger step or event each year. During year 21, Jackie and I got engaged. During year 22, was graduation from college. During year 23, I made law review at Valpo (which doesn't seem like a big deal to me know, but at the time, it certainly seemed important). During year 24, Jackie and I got married. During year 25, it was graduation from law school. During year 26, Jackie and I bought our first house together in little Middlebury, and I made partner at my law firm. During year 27 . . . . . . . . .
It just seems that nothing big or momentous, or whatever the word would be, happened in the last year for me. There was obviously big events . . . I became an Uncle as my Sister had her first child; Jackie and I dealt with the pain of losing her faithful Bichon Toby, who passed away in September after 14 years; Jackie and I got a new puppy this past January; I bought a newer car and finally moved on from the old trust Echo; but nothing that makes me look back and think, I will remember that I did this when I was 27, the way I look at those other events.
Ultimately, I think the way I view time will change, less on a year to year basis, which being so close to a school schedule kind of forces the view of time, to less structured, to an understanding that time will just kind of pass by seemingly quicker and quicker, because there are less things to mark it, less "big" events such as graduations, job promotions, marriage, houses, and the like. Looking ahead, obviously any job changes would be big (although I sincerely hope there isn't any, I like where I work), new house at some point would be big, and obviously any children that come along, but I think the years of having something defining happen every year are probably over, and now its time to start looking at the whole of the future with the aforementioned hope and optimism, instead of trying to control it by structuring it so much on a yearly basis. But again, I'm only 28, so I'm sure the views and thoughts I have now will evolve and morph over the future years.
As for the birthday itself, it was very nice. My parents, sister, brother in law, and nephew all came down to have lunch with Jackie and I at Olive Garden, one of my favorite restaurants, and then came back to our house for some ice cream cake. It was nice to be able to spend the time with everyone. And due to my family and Jackie's family incredible generosity (seriously, I cannot be convinced that I deserve to be so blessed with such incredible people as family in my life), I was able to get some new things I have been wanting for awhile, including a new golf bag, golf shoes, and even a mini-laptop that I can't wait to use to help in doing more work at home (which might be a later post).
Everything considered, its been a great time, and not to sound overly corny, while its nice to get the gifts of things from people that create little moments, what's always nicer is the time I get to spend with family, and the wonderful reminder of how loved and blessed and fortunate I am . . . I love that reminder, a reminder of what I have been given but didn't deserve, and what I should strive to give to others, even if they may not deserve it.
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