One of my favorite pictures of us, from our honeymoon in December 2005.
Today is my and Jackie's four year wedding anniversary. It feels like much longer...I guess because four years is a long time when you are only 28 or so (14% of your entire life). I always hesitate to mention that it feels like a long time because I think that such language carries with it some negative connotations at times, or that, in the reverse, its "only four years," what's the big deal. Some of that, okay probably most of that, is the result of being just a little too self conscious.
But it feels like a big deal, it provides for that moment of reflection, a look back at where we were four years ago and where we are now. Jackie had just finished her first year of teaching and her first year out of college living on her own in Elkhart. I had just finished my second year of law school in Valpo, and was clerking with the City of South Bend's legal department for that summer. Jackie's first year, she had one half day class and worked in the afternoon helping out with special ed classrooms; getting paid somewhere between half time and full time. I hadn't had a job that earned money since the summer of 2003, and was not making very much clerking in a public law office. Obviously, it was the first time either of us had to begin "sharing" what we earned.
We moved into an apartment on the Northwest side of South Bend, after a very exhausting move (her stuff from Elkhart and my stuff from Valpo). I remember right after the wedding the difficulty we had trying to find a place for everything due to everyone's generosity. I had taken the week following our wedding off from work, not for a honeymoon, but just to spend some time together and unload. I remember taking in a South Bend Silverhawk game; I remember going out to Papa Vino's (our nice dinner for the week); I distinctly remember being able to use the monetary gifts to book our first trip to Disney together as our honeymoon, in December later that year.
We each were still driving vehicles that were purchased with the help of parents (well, my, the Echo, was leased by my parents and I bought it from them shortly after we got married). In the fall of that year, Jackie's Saturn died later that fall and we did our first car buying experience together, leasing her G6. That first year was very much marked by driving. Jackie 45 miles one way to Middlebury every day; me, about 60 miles four days a week to Valpo. Between the commute, and finishing law review, the sports law clinic, and continuing to clerk, its amazing there was any time left.
I finished law school, fortunately found a job close to Jackie's in Goshen, we moved to Elkhart to another apartment. It was a busy first year of marriage, and for whatever reason, I tend to remember more and more about it the further I get from it. It was so busy at the time I never think back to those moments. Now, those are very special moments. The Friday and Saturday nights we spent at Meijer grocery shopping; the fact that because we both did not cook very well (Jackie still doesn't ;)), that we ate out so much at the close by Applebees that we had nicknames for all the waiters - tall man; crazy work lady; mr. social; etc.
In the past 4 years, we have moved twice, one of which involved buying a house; we have joined a new church family and worked to get involved in our community; we have seen Jackie go from teaching to a half day class once a day to now having tenure and enduring all day kindergarten; my graduation from law school and beginnings as a new attorney; leasing and buying new cars; taking two great trips to Disney; losing a faithful friend and loved with our dog, Toby, last September; gaining a crazy new puppy with Ellie; endured several home improvement projects and discussed many more; and continue to have our dreams linked together, for kids and family and community in the future.
It truly amazes to think how much we have done together in the last four years, which only makes me think how much the next four years could hold - the possibility of more work related stresses and joys; the bevy of inevitable home improvement tasks; the hope and anticipation of starting our family.
I think what is more remarkable is how much we have each grown in the last four years, and how much better people we each are because of one another. I am not as intense as I used to be, I lighten up more, I'm more patience, more thoughtful, and ultimately, more loving. I believe the same for Jackie - she's more thoughtful, more understanding, more patient. We are both much more confident people. I can only hope that the next four years and beyond will continue to involve such growth for us, both individually and as a couple. And because of the past four years, because of, honestly, how well we balance each other, I have little doubt the same will happen.
In sum, I feel incredibly humbled and blessed to have spent the last four years experiencing how wonderful marriage can be, how wonderful it is to be in a loving relationship. And on this day, which inevitable leads to reflection, I am very grateful for those experiences, and have great anticipation for our future together.
But it feels like a big deal, it provides for that moment of reflection, a look back at where we were four years ago and where we are now. Jackie had just finished her first year of teaching and her first year out of college living on her own in Elkhart. I had just finished my second year of law school in Valpo, and was clerking with the City of South Bend's legal department for that summer. Jackie's first year, she had one half day class and worked in the afternoon helping out with special ed classrooms; getting paid somewhere between half time and full time. I hadn't had a job that earned money since the summer of 2003, and was not making very much clerking in a public law office. Obviously, it was the first time either of us had to begin "sharing" what we earned.
We moved into an apartment on the Northwest side of South Bend, after a very exhausting move (her stuff from Elkhart and my stuff from Valpo). I remember right after the wedding the difficulty we had trying to find a place for everything due to everyone's generosity. I had taken the week following our wedding off from work, not for a honeymoon, but just to spend some time together and unload. I remember taking in a South Bend Silverhawk game; I remember going out to Papa Vino's (our nice dinner for the week); I distinctly remember being able to use the monetary gifts to book our first trip to Disney together as our honeymoon, in December later that year.
We each were still driving vehicles that were purchased with the help of parents (well, my, the Echo, was leased by my parents and I bought it from them shortly after we got married). In the fall of that year, Jackie's Saturn died later that fall and we did our first car buying experience together, leasing her G6. That first year was very much marked by driving. Jackie 45 miles one way to Middlebury every day; me, about 60 miles four days a week to Valpo. Between the commute, and finishing law review, the sports law clinic, and continuing to clerk, its amazing there was any time left.
I finished law school, fortunately found a job close to Jackie's in Goshen, we moved to Elkhart to another apartment. It was a busy first year of marriage, and for whatever reason, I tend to remember more and more about it the further I get from it. It was so busy at the time I never think back to those moments. Now, those are very special moments. The Friday and Saturday nights we spent at Meijer grocery shopping; the fact that because we both did not cook very well (Jackie still doesn't ;)), that we ate out so much at the close by Applebees that we had nicknames for all the waiters - tall man; crazy work lady; mr. social; etc.
In the past 4 years, we have moved twice, one of which involved buying a house; we have joined a new church family and worked to get involved in our community; we have seen Jackie go from teaching to a half day class once a day to now having tenure and enduring all day kindergarten; my graduation from law school and beginnings as a new attorney; leasing and buying new cars; taking two great trips to Disney; losing a faithful friend and loved with our dog, Toby, last September; gaining a crazy new puppy with Ellie; endured several home improvement projects and discussed many more; and continue to have our dreams linked together, for kids and family and community in the future.
It truly amazes to think how much we have done together in the last four years, which only makes me think how much the next four years could hold - the possibility of more work related stresses and joys; the bevy of inevitable home improvement tasks; the hope and anticipation of starting our family.
I think what is more remarkable is how much we have each grown in the last four years, and how much better people we each are because of one another. I am not as intense as I used to be, I lighten up more, I'm more patience, more thoughtful, and ultimately, more loving. I believe the same for Jackie - she's more thoughtful, more understanding, more patient. We are both much more confident people. I can only hope that the next four years and beyond will continue to involve such growth for us, both individually and as a couple. And because of the past four years, because of, honestly, how well we balance each other, I have little doubt the same will happen.
In sum, I feel incredibly humbled and blessed to have spent the last four years experiencing how wonderful marriage can be, how wonderful it is to be in a loving relationship. And on this day, which inevitable leads to reflection, I am very grateful for those experiences, and have great anticipation for our future together.
Congrats! Miss you two.
ReplyDelete