Fresh Starts

Beginning of a new month, as good as any time to arbitrarily decide to make new and fresh starts. For me, it involves two of my usual obsessions – our finances and my health. I started this morning by exercising, about a mile on the treadmill and then some light weight training. Nothing serious, I don't want to take on more than what I can handle initially, but more and more over the last couple years or so I continue to realize the need to take action in losing some weight, and while I have done some things better, cutting pop out of the diet, being a tad bit more conscientious about what I eat, trying to be more active in occasionally taking the dog for a walk or “play” some tennis with Jackie, it hasn't been enough to see things change. In the past I have started exercising routines, only to drop off after a week or so, which means the obvious test now will be having the determination and perseverance to carry through to see some results. In any event, its a much better way to start the day...I already feel a little more alert, and feel ready to go for what will be another long day and long week.

That second new beginning is with our budget. I have previously written about how financial things seem to be continually on my mind. And I imagine they will be for quite some time. Just the nature of our situation at present...I have a great deal of student loans from college and law school, and Jackie has hers from college, which is okay debt to have I suppose; and the usuals of mortgage payment, a car payment, all the other random things that come with having a house – insurance, taxes, etc.; and most problematic, some balances we have on credit cards from poor decisions of yesteryear. Thus the obvious goal of all the obsessing is to pay that debt off as quickly as possible.

That's ultimately why I started the budget at the beginning year...but its been interesting for me to not that while I obsess over making the budget, and figuring out where our money goes, and then devise a plan that will allow us to save money for the future as well as pay off debt quickly, I don't use that obsessiveness to stick to the budget; I am not obsessive about following the budget. Thus, we continue to get by month to month without any problems per se, but we fail to make the progress we want to make financially.

Thus, yesterday Jackie and I sat down and went over the budget for the month of June, the first time she has helped me with this process (she prefers not to worry about money, which considering how stressful it is, I don't blame her). We thought about what miscellaneous expenses we would have, i.e. birthday presents, father day's camping trip, and so on, and then figure out what we can afford to pay towards debt, what we can save, and what we can use for discretionary spending, like eating out and entertainment items. On the one level, its frustrating to see how quickly money can disappear when you have all the bills and obligations. On the other, its humbling to see what you are able to afford and what you have to be thankful for.

It makes for tough decisions of deciding to scrounge dinner up around the house rather than eating out when there is a late night at the office, and limiting how much we go out of town to visit people so as to conserve money on the gas tank. But its good to share those decisions with somebody. And for me personally, I almost need someone to share it with. Its not that Jackie gives me comfort when thinking about the monthly budget and our financial budget. She usually is the one needing comforting, as it stresses her out more and can make her pretty upset/disappointed. Its that I am not making those decisions by myself, and therefore, I am not responsible for those decisions by myself.

In our relationship, we often joke that I am the “no” person. I say no to buying certain things, and Jackie sometimes avoid making purchases she otherwise would because she knows I get stressed with spending I don't foresee. Now, with sitting down and doing this together, she sees where I am coming from, and, most importantly, she can be the “no” person to me. Because frankly, I need someone to be accountable to on this. I need someone who can look me in the eye and say, we can't do this because its not in the budget. I need that someone who, when I make a mistake in spending money as it relates to our planned budget, can make me feel, for lack of better wording, shameful. Because when I have that, when I am more aware of how my decisions will affect someone else, when my decisions are accountable to someone else, I tend to make better decisions.

So, its the first of the month. Here's hoping for a good month on the exercise front, and a good month on the sticking to the budget front. Both will require some discipline and perseverance. Both should be worth it.