This past Thursday night I had another meeting at our church with the task group charged with looking at the possibility of purchasing a new organ for the church. We have met several times over the past few months, and with our report and recommendation to the church's administrative council this coming Monday (of which, I am also a member), its getting down to the nitty gritty.
Anyway, as church things go, we open and close the meeting in prayer. At this meeting, the pastor of our church was also present, and she led us in the opening prayer. The prayer was focused obviously on our meeting, but the part that really got me thinking was requesting guidance during our conversations so that we may perfect our worship.
As anyone who knows me knows, I have a complicated relationship with organized religion, and really anything of a spiritual nature. One aspect of that complicated relationship has to do with the concept of worship. I have never felt strongly about worship services, never really connected on any sort of level with them. I've always felt that worship, at least when its defined or thought of as singing praise music in church and participating in words of praise and exultation to God, is superfluous. My common refrain is that an all good, all loving Being, would not need to be told how great He was. The relationship with the Divine should be based on how we live, our actions, our lifestyle; that should be our worship.
Thus, one could see that its somewhat ironic that I am on a committee looking at purchasing an organ, an instrument that is incredibly symbolic of traditional church worship. But our pastor's prayer Thursday night struck a chord with me so to speak, and I began to rethink my view on worship.
Specifically, I think my view, as odd as it sounds, was somewhat too God-centric. What I mean by that is, I was looking at the concept of worship, the idea of worship (until something feels like a fire inside me with regards to faith, I deal primarily in concepts and ideas), solely from God's, or that all good Being's perspective. And from that perspective, I still think my conclusion was correct. God doesn't need that worship, nor does God require it. That's not part of how a Being, believed to be defined as He is, as that omni-benevolent awesome dude He is, would behave so to speak.
But that viewpoint, I think, could be a very poor place to be looking at religious ideas, particularly ones dealing with worship. Again, using the poor semantics of my self-created framework here, the viewpoint should be more self-centric. Its not about what God requires or demands or needs, as the type of Divine love that is given, or at least is believed to be given, would not be dragged down by such human and finite qualities. Rather, its about what our duties are when someone loves us in that way, and we love them back. As a rather rudimentary, albeit imperfect analogy, Jackie loves me and I love her. When I say things that could be equated with praise (like worship in church services), such as "I love you," calling her my "best friend," telling her that she's my rock, and so on, those things are said not because her love for me demands that I do so, or requires I do so. Rather, its because my love for her demands it of me, and requires it of me. Thus, praise and worship should come from us towards the Divine not because the Divine, God, Christ, whatever, demands and requires it, but because our faithfulness to that ideal of God, and our love for that Being, demands those actions from us.
Viewing things, and focusing things, intellectually from God's perspective, in a sense, blinded me to something that is probably obvious to many people. In saying this though, I don't imagine myself joining a choir and really passionately getting into praise and worship activities at our church. Ultimately, I truly am not hardwired in a way that such things would at all feel authentic for me. But it does allow me to get over the hurdle of cynicism when seeing others display that passion during worship and praise. And for me, anytime I can avoid the cynicism that seems to inevitably arise when thinking about spiritual issues, well, I believe that is a good thing. Its something I strive for, in that continuing quest to become the best, most authentic, most genuine, most loving version of myself possible. And this is just one small step on the path, but a step nonetheless.
Anyway, as church things go, we open and close the meeting in prayer. At this meeting, the pastor of our church was also present, and she led us in the opening prayer. The prayer was focused obviously on our meeting, but the part that really got me thinking was requesting guidance during our conversations so that we may perfect our worship.
As anyone who knows me knows, I have a complicated relationship with organized religion, and really anything of a spiritual nature. One aspect of that complicated relationship has to do with the concept of worship. I have never felt strongly about worship services, never really connected on any sort of level with them. I've always felt that worship, at least when its defined or thought of as singing praise music in church and participating in words of praise and exultation to God, is superfluous. My common refrain is that an all good, all loving Being, would not need to be told how great He was. The relationship with the Divine should be based on how we live, our actions, our lifestyle; that should be our worship.
Thus, one could see that its somewhat ironic that I am on a committee looking at purchasing an organ, an instrument that is incredibly symbolic of traditional church worship. But our pastor's prayer Thursday night struck a chord with me so to speak, and I began to rethink my view on worship.
Specifically, I think my view, as odd as it sounds, was somewhat too God-centric. What I mean by that is, I was looking at the concept of worship, the idea of worship (until something feels like a fire inside me with regards to faith, I deal primarily in concepts and ideas), solely from God's, or that all good Being's perspective. And from that perspective, I still think my conclusion was correct. God doesn't need that worship, nor does God require it. That's not part of how a Being, believed to be defined as He is, as that omni-benevolent awesome dude He is, would behave so to speak.
But that viewpoint, I think, could be a very poor place to be looking at religious ideas, particularly ones dealing with worship. Again, using the poor semantics of my self-created framework here, the viewpoint should be more self-centric. Its not about what God requires or demands or needs, as the type of Divine love that is given, or at least is believed to be given, would not be dragged down by such human and finite qualities. Rather, its about what our duties are when someone loves us in that way, and we love them back. As a rather rudimentary, albeit imperfect analogy, Jackie loves me and I love her. When I say things that could be equated with praise (like worship in church services), such as "I love you," calling her my "best friend," telling her that she's my rock, and so on, those things are said not because her love for me demands that I do so, or requires I do so. Rather, its because my love for her demands it of me, and requires it of me. Thus, praise and worship should come from us towards the Divine not because the Divine, God, Christ, whatever, demands and requires it, but because our faithfulness to that ideal of God, and our love for that Being, demands those actions from us.
Viewing things, and focusing things, intellectually from God's perspective, in a sense, blinded me to something that is probably obvious to many people. In saying this though, I don't imagine myself joining a choir and really passionately getting into praise and worship activities at our church. Ultimately, I truly am not hardwired in a way that such things would at all feel authentic for me. But it does allow me to get over the hurdle of cynicism when seeing others display that passion during worship and praise. And for me, anytime I can avoid the cynicism that seems to inevitably arise when thinking about spiritual issues, well, I believe that is a good thing. Its something I strive for, in that continuing quest to become the best, most authentic, most genuine, most loving version of myself possible. And this is just one small step on the path, but a step nonetheless.
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