I've enjoyed the last week, sharing a little bit of my daily pursuit of mindfulness, the awareness of all that I should be thankful for; and blogging about it I think helped, as I was forced into more reflection than what I normally do on the subject. But as a final post on the matter of being mindful and being thankful, I thought I would write a little about what has been our life for most of this year, and how I am thankful for it.
Our life has centered on adoption this year. From moving past the second miscarriage in January, to exploring the idea of adoption, researching adoption agencies and options, completing all the paperwork and other requirements to be approved for an adoption, to finally meeting a birth mother and becoming part of her life, and her part of ours. The process has had its ups and downs, has been both incredibly challenging and rewarding, and has significantly, I think, altered certain of my perspectives and outlook.
I am very thankful for our whole adoption experience this year because it stands in such contrast to the infertility process of prior years. I think experiencing infertility fits the maxim that its something you have to experience it to understand it. Because it can be such a tough topic to talk about, experiencing it can make you feel very alone. Because there is so much emphasis in our society to have families, the inability that infertility presents you with makes you feel very isolated. Because as a young couple with two steady professions, we would frequently get asked when we would be having kids and starting a family (again, part of that social emphasis), that sense of isolation can permeate your daily existence. Suffice to say, our experiences with infertility ended of making us feel very isolated, and very alone.
The adoption process has done the opposite of that.
Its the learning about other couples that have adopted their children, or how many people who know someone who adopted. Its a reminder that we're not alone on our journey.
Its the incredible outpouring of love and support we received from family and friends. We held five garage sales this year to help raise money, mostly with "merchandise" that wasn't ours, donated from friends and family. We've had friends and family give us so many items we would need for a baby when it arrived - from clothes and sleep sacks (personal favorite), to a mattress and several swings. We had several friends offer their time and willingness to come over and get Ellie whenever we would have to take off. During our false alarm of last week, we discovered how many people were working with us at each of our jobs to step in if we needed to leave in a rush or at an inopportune time. We're not alone on our journey.
We've had several friends and family give to our fundraising page for adoption. Amazing. The simple fact that such an organization exists to help people afford the cost of adoption is a reminder that we are not alone on our journey. The fact that we had friends and family write to their representatives regarding the Adoption Tax Credit is another reminder of how much support and companionship we have on the journey.
Adoption has defined our life in 2012 thus far. And I am grateful for its definition, because it included the reminder that we are not alone in our journey; far from that, we are surrounded and even overwhelmed by the number of people that have been with us on it. We started 2012 feeling very much alone and with little hope. It looks like we may end 2012 with hope, a new family member, and the knowledge that her story includes so very many people.
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